


Smoke and Mirrors (Fly, Fly Away)

by UpsideAround



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Internal Conflict, M/M, Magic Revealed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-30 13:52:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10164383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UpsideAround/pseuds/UpsideAround
Summary: Magic revealed, Merlin flees Camelot. Arthur struggles to reconcile his image of Merlin with the evil Uther told him resides in all things magic.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on the song [Fly, Fly Away](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCQ8_gcOPn4) from Catch Me If You Can. I've included some significant lyrics in the end notes. 
> 
> I can't believe it's 2k17 and I still am not over this show

“Arthur. Arthur.”

Words washed over Arthur’s mind, but he couldn’t raise his head up enough to respond with any sort of dignity. His mind buzzed and his eyes were full of static. He could hardly focus on his own hands. The world was flipped sideways, upside down, and was crystal clear all at the same time.

“Arthur.”

That was Uther. His own father, and yet his voice seemed so far away, alienated even.

“Arthur, I need to know where he is.” 

Arthur blinked. What was his father talking about?

“Where’s the sorcerer, Arthur?”

Arthur found himself turning his head to face Uther. His mind was screaming, but not any discernable words. He stared into Uther’s pale eyes, but he could only think about Merlin’s sky-blue eyes flashing the color of the sun. 

“You’ll only execute him,” Arthur found himself saying. 

The wrinkles around Uther’s eyes deepened. “For the safety of Camelot, unpleasant sacrifices must be made. Where is the sorcerer?”

Arthur closed his eyes and shuddered.

_ “Ten miles west from here. Three days from now.” _

_ “What?” Arthur said, staggering back slightly.  _

_ Merlin threw open a bag and began shoving clothing in it. “There’s two creeks that meet up in the forest. That’s where I’ll be.” _

_ Arthur rolled his eyes. “What are you playing at? Is this your way of asking for a day off?” _

_ Arthur caught a small smile as Merlin pushed a handful of clothes into his bag. Arthur felt a sense of dread creep up from his toes when Merlin did not respond. _

_ “Merlin?” Arthur asked, apprehension inching along the back of his neck.  _

_ When Merlin pried up a floorboard and pulled out a ornate book, Arthur’s heart dropped all the way to the floor. _

_ “What is that? Where did you get that?” Arthur said, taking a step back. _

_ Merlin ran his hand through his hair. “Do you trust me?” _

_ “Do I—”  _

_ “Arthur, listen to me. I’ve only ever wanted you to be safe. I never wanted it to end like this.” Merlin’s eyes were the darkest Arthur had ever seen.  _

_ Arthur didn’t have time to register what was going on. He opened his mouth to respond, but instead he watched as Merlin whispered some strange words under his breath. His eyes flashed gold. Arthur watched as Merlin’s bag tied itself and flew across the room into Merlin’s outstretched hand. _

_ Merlin was breathing heavily. He started to rush out the door but Arthur caught his arm.  _

_ “Wait.” _

_ Merlin stopped. _

_ Arthur took a breath. “Was any of it real?” _

_ Merlin grinned, but Arthur could see the real hurt behind his eyes. “Three days from now, ten miles west. I only wanted to help you live, Arthur.” _

_ And Arthur watched as Merlin ran out the door before he stopped and realized how cryptic of an answer that was. _

“Merlin.” 

Uther jerked back slightly. “What?”

Arthur turned his body to face his father. “If you want me to tell you where Merlin is, use his name. Not  _ the sorcerer _ . Merlin.”

Uther’s gaze hardened. “Where is Merlin?”

Arthur closed his eyes again.

“Arthur, please. I only want to keep you safe,” Uther said quietly. Arthur twitched at that. It almost sounded like Uther was begging. His father never begged. 

Uther kept asking, but Arthur kept hearing Merlin’s voice echo in his head.

( _ “I’ve only ever wanted you to be safe. I never wanted it to end like this.” _ )

 

* * *

__

Three days passed, just like Merlin said they would. Arthur found himself watching the sunset from the tallest tower in the castle.

 

* * *

 

Uther returned in a rage that night. None of the knights could find the sorcerer. 

Arthur almost smiled at that. Of course they couldn’t find Merlin, they were looking in the east.

 

* * *

Arthur always had an inflated sense of loyalty. Whether that was loyalty to his pride, his father, or Camelot, he always had something to defend, something to protect.

He didn’t realize how much he had changed ever since Merlin came to work for him. He was still loyal to Camelot, his father, and his pride, but now they came in that order. And when he was lost, he found his way back to himself. Merlin, running in the background of his life had inexplicably been a voice of guidance. 

Even when the future seemed bleak and hopeless, Merlin never stopped being annoyingly optimistic, as if he knew something Arthur didn’t. 

Of course, Arthur realized now, that was exactly the case.

On the outside, Merlin seemed clueless,  naïve , even stupid at times. Arthur teased him about this relentlessly, but what not many others seemed to see was Merlin’s complete devotion and intelligence. 

Something about Merlin must have turned a key inside Arthur, because he couldn’t bring himself to even consider betraying Merlin. 

Merlin’s a sorcerer, he knew that now, but despite all the confusion, hurt, and loneliness swirling around his head, he had no wish to see Merlin executed.

In fact, he had no wish to see Merlin at all.

 

* * *

 

“What’s on your mind, sire?” Gaius asked Arthur one afternoon while dressing a small hunting wound.

“I was just thinking,” Arthur said, adjusting slightly. “I never got to say goodbye to Merlin.”

Arthur felt Gaius pause. “Maybe there’s a reason for that.”

Arthur didn’t ask him to elaborate. 

 

* * *

 

Uther gave Arthur a new manservant. 

“A real one, this time,” Uther had said, smiling.

Arthur should have asked him what he meant by that, because his new servant was anything but genuine. He often felt as if his servant would give him the answers that Arthur wanted to hear.

His servant would never tell him if he was going to far with a joke, or if he looked unpresentable, or if his judgement was simply wrong. 

He tried not to think about how Merlin would always be honest with what he was really thinking.

He tried not to think about how Merlin lied to him, too. 

 

* * *

 

Uther was convinced that Merlin was a spy the whole time, and the fact that his knights could not find the one rogue sorcerer in the kingdom put him on edge.

Arthur was pretty sure Merlin had left Camelot by now. He tried to shove thoughts of Merlin out of his mind, but for some reason he they kept creeping back. 

Uther insisted Merlin was full of evil and malicious intent, but when Arthur looked back at his memories of Merlin, he couldn’t see anything but the good in his heart. Merlin had the type of good will  in his soul that spread thin threads around the room he was in, weaving a tapestry of hope and grief. It was the type of influence you don’t notice until it’s gone, until the color of the world dims slightly. 

Arthur sometimes wondered if he really knew Merlin, or if the man he knew was only the illusion he put up.

He remembered nights with Merlin, alone by the fire, where they would talk about everything and nothing all at once. Merlin had always been private, but Arthur would always catch glimpses of his blue eyes tied down with loneliness. There was something down in the depths of Merlin’s soul, and Arthur had stared into Merlin’s eyes as if he could find it if he searched long enough.

* * *

 

 

The knights returned from a search one afternoon, with a hooded figure in tow. Arthur remembered how the sun was brilliant that day, he had gone outside to soak it in when he had spotted the knights in the distance.

He closed his eyes for what felt like a moment, and when he opened them he saw the Knights of Camelot walking into the castle with a gangly boy in chains.

Arthur didn’t have to guess that it was Merlin who they brought into the castle and chained in the dungeon. 

Arthur hadn’t forgotten those blue eyes that spoke of freedom. 

 

* * *

 

If you had asked him to explain why he snuck down to the dungeons in the middle of the night, Arthur would not be able to give you a good answer. 

He grabbed a torch from his bedchambers and made his way into the darkness of the basement, his boots clicking slightly against the cold, hard stone. The heat of the torch flickered on his face, somehow making his whole body feel warmer. 

He found himself staring down Merlin for the first time in almost a year. 

“Arthur,” Merlin croaked, his chains clinking slightly as he moved to sit up.

Arthur decided that chains didn’t suit Merlin. He looked out of place, sitting on the ground while Arthur stood high and mighty above him.

“Merlin,” Arthur acknowledged. 

A heavy silence settled between them. Merlin stared up at Arthur with those eyes Arthur wanted to jump into, and Arthur stared right back, one hand holding up the torch and the other clasped around the keys in his pocket. 

“What the hell did you come back here for?” Arthur said, shaking his head. 

Merlin grinned. “Why do you think? You needed me.”

That made no sense to Arthur. He wasn’t in any danger, he didn’t have any sort of crisis to deal with, why did Merlin think he needed him?

“What?” Arthur said.

“You needed me to leave. How else could you have realized the shortcomings of your father?”

Arthur shifted his weight. “I asked why you came back.”

Merlin sighed. “I wanted to see you again.” 

Suddenly, every emotion that Arthur had ever experienced came crashing down on him in a tidal wave. The ecstatic feeling of laughing alongside Merlin. The heartbreak of his mother’s death. The great and tall feeling of looking out his window. The cold of the night, the warmth of the stars.

There was something about Merlin that always managed to throw Arthur for a loop. When Merlin ran, Arthur’s world flipped upside down. And here, now, Merlin had returned, and Arthur felt everything he knew fall apart and fall back together once again.

Arthur’s breath caught. 

Arthur heard the clang of the metal lock opening, and looked down to find himself opening the cell.

No longer hesitating, he threw himself forward and unlocked Merlin’s chains. Merlin looked down at him in amazement, rubbing his hands where the chains had left red marks circling his wrists. 

“Arthur, what are you— you’re going to get caught!” Merlin hissed at him.

Arthur sighed and looked up at Merlin. “You set me free once. It’s time for me to return the favor.”

Merlin crunched his eyebrows. “I did what? What the hell are you—”

Arthur leaned forward and pressed their lips together. Somewhere, he felt a breeze brush across them as he brought his hand up to cradle the side of Merlin’s face.

“Do you understand?” Arthur asked, pulling away. 

Merlin’s eyes flicked over Arthur’s face. “Yes.”

Arthur found himself smiling. “Then get out of here.”

Merlin stood and began to dash out of the prison. He turned around at the doorway and opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but the sound of footsteps down the hall made him harden his gaze and run.

“Sire!” a nameless guard said, running toward Arthur. “What are you doing out of bed? The King was worried!”

Arthur looked around. “Just decided to walk alone a little.”

The guard looked confused. “In the prison?”

Arthur smiled. “Come on, let’s go upstairs.”

The next morning, when Uther asked Arthur if he knew anything about the missing sorcerer, Arthur simply smiled and said, “No, father.”

 

* * *

 

He never really got his chance to say goodbye to Merlin, but he didn’t feel like he was ready for a goodbye. It wasn’t that the words were on the tip of his tongue that night in the dungeon, but the words weren’t in his heart at all.  _ Goodbye _ never so much as flickered in his mind that night. 

Uther’s reign was fading into grey, and though Arthur loved his father, he felt the warmth of the sun on the day Uther officially named Arthur as the one who would inherit his kingdom.

Arthur took a deep breath and smiled. Merlin was out there, free, and one day Arthur would bring the blue hues of magic back into Camelot. There was no reason to say goodbye, not really. Merlin would return. 

Hope was a strange feeling, but Arthur couldn’t think of any other emotion that would wrap tendrils around his heart and let it fly the way it did.

The golden sun would shine in Camelot once again. 

**Author's Note:**

> _With his sweet and gentle touch he sure unlocked my soul  
>  So in return I surely want to help to set him free_
> 
> _We didn't get to say goodbye, goodbye_  
>  No need to tell me why, my baby  
> Maybe it's because you'll fly back home to me one day 
> 
> _Men who you call real were really fakes who left me nothing  
>  But this man you call a fake gave me something real_
> 
> _So now they want to clip his precious wings and bring him down  
>  But in his heart and soul's the kind of good they can't destroy_
> 
> _We didn't get to say goodbye, goodbye_  
>  No need to tell me why, my baby  
> Maybe it's because you'll fly back home to me one day 
> 
> _Baby, when you're in the clouds, please keep a lookout  
>  Maybe, darling, find a hideaway for you and I, you and I_
> 
> _And now I wanna see you fly, fly_  
>  I'll be your alibi, my baby  
> Fly, fly, fly away 
> 
> _And I'll be waiting for you there  
>  You'll fly back home to me one day_
> 
> Thank you for reading! Comments and Kudos are appreciated


End file.
